You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
