some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
