Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
