woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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