i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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