oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
