honey bunches of taint.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
