Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We left the knife in your bed.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
