walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
