dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
