Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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