it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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