goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
