I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
