The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We have started to decorate penises.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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