Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
