She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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