my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
