Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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