in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
