If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
