I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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