woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
