Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
