Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
