Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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