By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
