i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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