just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
