forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize