apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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