i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
