That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
