1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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