Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize