No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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