No, drunk sperm still make babies.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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