I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
