We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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