It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
