so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
