but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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