I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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