why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We're too hungover to prance.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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