my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
