Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
