Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
