also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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