so explain again why im purple
no
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
