No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
