I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
