I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
